I’m not sure the extent of it… but I feel like there might be a significant amount of lying going on…  by the farmer…  and it’s spiralled into  something he sees no way out of…

for the meal to the field tonight I made coleslaw, honeydew melon and strawberries, steak sandwiches with onions, provolone and arugula, corn on the cob and zucchini coconut loaf…  

and the farmer texted me… ‘great coleslaw honey’…  

he texted this to me as I’m sitting with some friends at a football game and in the middle of telling them what an awful coleslaw I made for the men tonight…

so awful, I said, that I might not even put the recipe on my blog…

as you can imagine, there were gasps and statements like… ‘no, Catherine, put it on… I’m sure you are just exaggerating’ … ‘oh Catherine, you can’t withhold a single recipe from us’…

it all started with a coleslaw I ate this summer, at the farmer’s mothers house made by his youngest sister Jamie…  I felt like it was the best coleslaw ever known to man…  so I got her to send me the recipe and away I went to re-create the party in your mouth coleslaw that I had experienced…

I recently had purchased a new, very cheap, food processor… after making zucchini relish and grating every ingredient by hand I felt like maybe I should own one…

so I began putting the cabbage into the food processor…

to say it was ‘finicky’ is an understatement…  and it also smelt like metal and burning rubber…

and it ground the cabbage into something you could serve at an old folks home…  (assisted living… not sure the right venacular to use for a place where people don’t have teeth but still enjoy cabbage)

the consistency of the cabbage was off-putting to me but I plugged ahead and made the rest of the salad, poured on the dressing I had found (although different than the dressing my sister-in-law used and not homemade… gasp)

 

and then I sampled it…  shook my head… sampled again… and considered throwing it out…  but then thought about the few hours I had spent making it and decided that I would just throw a note in with every meal saying…

‘sorry about the crappy coleslaw…  I know it’s gross…  I’ll do better next time’

but then faced with the task of writing this out 12 times I decided that I’d just let them come to the obvious conclusion that the coleslaw was garbage…

and then I get the text… “great coleslaw honey”… 

and I begin to wonder what else he has lied to me about…  I’m assuming other food dishes I’ve prepared are garbage and he raves about them…  perhaps the daisy dukes and ripped white jeans I wear don’t make me look great…  what if my ass really has cellulite all over it? I would never know!

I’m going to include the recipe… because it was so good… just not the way I made it… the way she made it…

and a side note… instead of cleaning the cheap, piece of crap food processor that destroyed my coleslaw… I threw it away…

you heard me… tossed it… it’s going to the burning pit…  all $18 of it…

Jamie's Party in Your Mouth Coleslaw

Ingredients:

  • fresh purple and green cabbage
  • corn (I bought frozen organic sweet corn)
  • red onion
  • cilantro
  • Renee’s Brand Coleslaw Dressing

Directions:

  • don’t mess it up

on to the actual pleasant tasting food item… the steak sandwiches… which I had the steak in the freezer marinated from the big meal prep I did earlier this month…

but there was a lie involved with this as well… I was unaware until tonight at the football game, an 8 year old girl brought me the sweetest thank you card… and thanked me for buying her 4H award winning Steer ‘Teddy Bear’

and here all along I thought I had bought her brother’s cow…

she was quite proud to point out to me that her ‘Teddy Bear’ was far superior to her brother’s and won for being the fattiest…

so let me tell you, ‘Teddy Bear’ is delicious… 

the sauce from the marinade gets put in a pot while the steaks are on the bbq and you boil it until it thickens… ours did not thicken a whole lot… but was very tasty…

we served ‘Teddy Bear’ with some mayonnaise, provolone cheese, sautéed onions and arugula…

wrapped them up in tin foil, put them in the oven at 250 degrees for a bit to warm up and away they went…

my eight year old daughter picked 12 cobs of corn, husked them, boiled them, put butter and salt on them and wrapped them in tin foil for the supper bags…

her reward was that good feeling you get when you do a job well…

I had to set the supper bags outside the shop to be picked up so I didn’t miss my middle son’s first regular season football game…

it was also a test to the farmer’s self control how long you can make a meal last…

this was at 4:10 pm… I’m guessing his was done before 5:30…  because he “loved” the coleslaw right around 5:10…