I feel undesired… not by the farmer… I feel sufficiently desired by him…  just realizing that I’m at an age where the older men that used to creepily check me out no longer do… I’m too old now to make it fun for the creepers…  and I’m not quite old enough to be a Cougar yet… getting there but not quite… so I’m in ‘no-man’s land’… literally… no man wanting this…  other than the farmer of course…

so this leads to me getting a tad ‘sloppy’ with my look once in awhile… it is freeing knowing that no one is looking at you… it also means you might wake up and not actually look in the mirror until you are driving and see a glimpse of yourself in the rear-view mirror and think ‘I look tired’… or you might get sloppy with the shaving of the legs or the curling of the hair or the general hygiene desired women  attend to…

recently I had an appointment to get my knee, which I partially tore my MCL in, looked at by a doctor to decide what to do about a brace and physio…  It is a 2 hour drive for me to get into the doctor and I decided that morning to get a few more minutes of sleep instead of getting up to shave my legs…  didn’t really think anything of it as the last three doctor’s I had visited with regards to my knee it would not have bothered me to have them cut their hands on my leg hair…

sure enough, I get there… slightly late, sweating, hairy… with my three kids… the daughter wearing long white gloves and a crown and the boy’s looking like they had made special effort to find the worst outfit combinations possible for the big outing to the doctor’s office…  I see my doctor and I start to sweat more…  he is young, good looking and I know he’s going to have to touch my leg…

turns out he touched both my legs… had to check the ‘good knee’ to see how it compared to the bad one… both of my legs were hairy…  and my back was drenched with sweat and I was trying to make small talk hoping he wouldn’t notice his hands were bleeding…

I get home and tell my farmer about this… about how it’s like when you clean your house and no one comes over but sure enough when it’s dirty you get three visitors that day… he felt bad for me I think… he also mentioned something about how he liked it when I shaved my legs and maybe I could just do it for him and not some stranger doctor guy that I will never see again…

this was the meal I took out that night… I hope you can’t sense all my anxiety and frustration through the pictures of my cooking… but it was there…


no recipe for this salad as you can see all the ingredients that are in it! but it is yummy and easy…


I’ve wanted to make sourdough bread ever since the farmer and I went to San Francisco a few years ago and we could not get enough of it…  this is a easy way to start with making it and I am going to learn the ‘over-night’ version at some point…  but this was good for on a day you didn’t have time shave your legs but you did have time to start dough fermenting…

Quick Sourdough Bread

Ingredients:

  • 6 cups all purpose flour or best for bread flour
  • 3 tsp kosher salt
  • 1 tsp instant dry yeast
  • 3 1/4 cup plain unsweetened yogurt containing active cultures

Directions:

  • in a Bosch dough machine or a mixer with a dough hook, mix all ingredients on medium speed until the dough comes together
  • if dough is too dry (it should be sticky) add another tbsp of yogurt
  • cut the dough in half to form two balls and put each dough ball into a greased bowl to rise
  • cover the bowl and let ferment at room temperature for 6-10 hours (6 is the minimum)
  • the dough should almost double in size
  • dust the counter with flour and dump the dough out
  • fold it over on itself, turning it as you do, but not crushing the air out of it
  • form into a ball and put onto a piece of parchment paper
  • do this with the other ball as well and let proof for 1-2 hours
  • it should almost double in size but be firm to the touch
  • 30 minutes before dough is ready to be cooked, put two heavy bottomed pots with lids into a 450 degree oven to warm up
  • add the dough by lifting up the parchment paper and setting into the pot
  • cover with the lid and bake for 30 minutes
  • then remove the lid and let bake until crust is golden brown
  • take out and cool on a rack for 20 minutes before cutting
  • butter and wrap in tin foil for the field

Beef Stew

Ingredients:

  • 1.8 kg Costco stew meat, cut up into small bite size chunks
  • 1/2 cup all purpose flour
  • salt and pepper
  • 1 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1/8 cup olive oil
  • 1/8 cup unsalted butter
  • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1 can tomato paste
  • 3 cups beef broth, hot
  • 2 large onions, cut into chunks
  • 5 regular red potatoes, cut into chunks
  • 2 lbs carrots, cut into chunks
  • 1 head garlic, smashed and minced
  • 4 bay leaves

Directions:

  • in two or three batches, take stew meat, drop into flour with the salt and pepper and paprika and then shake excess flour off
  • brown the meat at medium/high heat in the olive oil and butter
  • set aside in a pot that you will cook it all in or a crockpot
  • in the drippings, add balsamic vinegar, tomato paste and beef broth
  • pour over the stew meat
  • add to the stew meat the onions, potatoes, carrots and garlic
  • put bay leaves in and cook at 350 degrees for 2 1/2 hours

my mom told me that when she had given birth to me in the hospital, a lady had made her a Homemade Angel Food cake… and that she ate the entire thing and did not share it with anyone… not even me… her new-born baby looking all hungry…

Homemade Angel Food Cake

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups icing sugar
  • 1 cup cake flour
  • 1 1/2 cups egg whites (12 eggs)
  • 2 tsp cream of tartar
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp almond extract
  • 1/4 tsp table salt (fine salt)

Directions:

  • mix the icing sugar and flour
  • beat room temperature egg whites with cream of tartar on medium speed until slightly foamy
  • add sugar 1/4 cup at a time and then add vanilla, almond extract and salt
  • beat until stiff and smooth
  • sprinkle the icing sugar and flour into the meringue and fold in, 1/2 cup at a time
  • gently spread the batter into an angel food cake pan that is clean and dry
  • bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes
  • cake is done when the cracks in the cake feel dry and the top springs back when touched
  • turn the pan upside down on three cups around the edge of it and let cool for 2 hours
  • this cake is great to make ahead, cut up and put in container and freeze for when you need it

Rhubarb Sauce

Ingredients:

  • 4 cups chopped rhubarb
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 2/3 cup sugar

Directions:

  • in a medium saucepan on medium-high heat, stir all ingredients together
  • let come to a boil and then turn down and simmer until rhubarb is slightly broken down, 10-15 minutes
  • remove from pan and let cool
  • this sauce stores well in the fridge