it is 10:15 pm… my daughter just went to bed and I am faced with folding laundry that I put on my bed to sabotage myself before I go to sleep… I’m not expecting the farmer(s) to be home until midnight and the house is quiet… I have ran out of things to watch on Youtube so I open up my Netflix… everything is in Arabic or some language similar to that and my first thought is ‘I’ve been hacked’...
not the logical thought ‘maybe one of my kids is playing a joke on me’... nope – straight to hacking…
to preface my distrust of everything right now – Garmin (the running watch I use) was actually hacked by a Russian hacker last month… none of my run workouts were being uploaded for almost two weeks… so hacking does still happen… (unless the unlikely event that Facebook was wrong about that story)
*** side note: blanched the beans… this means you boil for 2-3 minutes and then straight into ice cold water***
back to the hacking… I quickly dial up a help line for Netflix and proceed to tell the lady my issue… she needs verification that this is my Netflix account… reasonable… she wants to send a code to my email… it is not coming through, so she goes to her next option… texting the code… but the problem is the number on the Netflix account is the farmer’s number and I tell her he doesn’t want to be bothered with my Netflix issues while he is combining…
understandable she says… third option is she is going to ‘patch me through to the finance department and I am going to give my VISA to them’… huh???
green bean, tomato, basil and parmesan salad
Ingredients:
4 cups green beans, blanched and cut (ends trimmed)
1 cup grape tomatoes, halved
1/3 cup parmesan cheese, shaved
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves
1/4 cup sliced red onion
3 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp lemon juice (1 lemon)
1 tbsp golden balsamic vinegar (or champagne vinegar)
1 tsp honey
1 clove garlic, minced
freshly ground salt and pepper
Directions:
blanch the beans
boil water, add the beans for 2-3 minutes and then place in ice cold water in the sink
drain and dry
add the tomatoes, cheese, basil, onion
place all the dressing ingredients in a vitamix and blend
if you don’t have that – shake in a jar
cover the salad with dressing and toss
put in fridge until ready to serve, preferably for a few hours
‘easy there, slow down’ I say… and then I start giggling and I say to her ‘you are in on this aren’t you??? are you all in the same room??? are you just going to pretend to patch me over to finance and then hand your phone to your friend that hacked my account and get my VISA number? how do I know you even work for Netflix?’
it was all becoming crystal clear to me… what a scam… well I informed her that I wasn’t born yesterday and they would have to come up with a better sceme than this to hook me…
*** side note: on these hot days on the farm I’ve been including watermelon or some sort of melon… I think it’s been a hit***
I truly expected her to be shocked I figured it out and perhaps hang up on me… but she quickly backtracked and said she did actually work for Netflix and no longer required my VISA… we could maybe figure it out some other way…
I said ‘now we are talking… how about I tell you how this is going to work… if you truly work there, you can just go ahead and turn my language preference to English, no VISA numbers need to be given and we are set’…
I call this the art of negotiation… I watched three episodes of it on Masterclass and was feeling pretty great about myself…
*** side note: these have to be my two favourite toppings on anything really… mozza and basil… unreal… also this deer sausage is incredibly tasty***
she keeps insisting that she truly does work for Netflix and I keep saying ‘yes and I live next door to Oprah’...
after a solid half hour of this back and forth, I begin to fade… the laundry is done and I certainly don’t want the farmer(s) to get home only to find me fighting with a fake Netflix person on my phone…
ravioli bake with mozzarella and basil
Ingredients:
1 pkg chicken and mozzarella ravioli, barely boiled
1 pkg deer sausasge, bbq’d
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 orange or yellow bell pepper, chopped
1 red onion, sliced
2 cups or more marinara sauce of your choice
fresh mozzarella
basil
Directions:
preheat oven to 425 degrees
in a boiling pot of water, drop the ravioli and let boil for 1-2 minutes and scoop out into your baking dish
cover with marinara sauce
bbq your deer sausage
add the peppers and onion to the ravioli and bake for 15 minutes
make sure there is enough sauce to cover everything
cut up the sausage and add if you choose or serve it beside the ravioli
stir the ravioli and pull chunks of mozzarella to place on top
bake for 5 minutes or until the mozzarella is melted
add the basil and let sit
serve with a bbq’d deer sausage if you have not put this in the dish
I decide to compromise… I tell her that I believe her story and she tells me she switched the language back to English… (I never believed her story)
by the time I get off the call, I’m too exhausted to watch a show (which turns out she had switched it back to English) and I’m also to stimulated to fall asleep…
when the farmer(s) get home I immediately have to get up and tell everyone how I didn’t get scammed…
they all are super excited to hear my story at midnight… and then the farmer shows me some emails that Netflix had been sending the last week that I just had ignored and deleted…
here it was emails saying that our Netflix account had been signed into from Bangladesh and if this is not you to deny access… hmmmm… that would have been nice to know earlier…
and then I realize that my ‘spidy-sense’ might be on overdrive right now and I just don’t trust anyone… I phoned my local bank the other day and was just about to ask the teller how she could prove to me she is who she says she is…
the farmer told me I need to stop watching conspiracy movies and perhaps chat with real life people more… I told him that I don’t have that luxury because I was currently trying to figure out if Bill Gates is amazing like his Netflix documentary says he is or if he’s the Anti-Christ like the last Plandemic doc says he is…
chocolate zucchini coconut sheet pan cake
Ingredients:
Cake:
2 1/2 cups grated zucchini
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 1/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
3 large eggs
1 cup olive oil
1 tbsp vanilla extract
Frosting:
8 oz cream cheese, room temp
1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temp
2 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup sweetened coconut, toasted
Directions:
preheat oven to 350 degrees
spray a 9×13 pan with nonstick spray
grate the zucchini
in a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon
whisk up eggs, add olive oil and and vanilla
add the flour mix and then the zucchini
spread batter in the greased 9×13
bake for 35-40 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean
let cool on a rack in the pan to room temp
for the frosting, beat the cream cheese and butter together until creamy
beat in sugar and cocoa powder
add vanilla
frost the cake in the pan when cooled
add the toasted coconut on top
cut and serve
so if you are thinking that absolutely everybody is lying to you right now, you are not alone…
I’m telling you the truth when I say that basil and mozza are the best topping on anything… ever…
i feed a farmer 